On a cold day in South Wales I went to a cafe with a man in a raincoat.
The kindly, unremarkable looking chap cast a quick look over his shoulder, and removed a package of papers from his bag, and leaned forward to show me some documents.
That was the day I quite by chance became a sleeper agent for one of the world’s super powers!
You see I always thought that joining the FSB, or the ‘Federation of Small Businesses’ as it’s known in the UK was just an easy way of getting free business banking with the co-op.
But that was before I had watched spooks.
As I watched the glossy MI5 heroes being chased by swarthy baddies toting semi automatics, I came to a sudden realisation – the FSB is the Russian secret service!
How could I have been so blind!?
I comforted myself with the thought that I had really had no dealings with them – and had paid them more money than I had receivedf back from them in terms of benefits.
But then I began to get the communications – they came by post first, in an unremarkable looking window envelope, designed to cause no suspicion at all.
“You are one of 800” it read – oh no! They have tracked me to my new address in England… and now they are trying to get me and the other suckers who fell for their evil schemes (or perhaps they are true believers) to get together for nibbles before they launch into what I suspect will be a sustained bit of brainwashing, possibly with some instructions on sabotage techniques or something.
How did this happen to me? How could I have fallen for it? And what will happen to me if I dont go to the meeting? Will I ever awake from this nightmare?