Today is the day we remember the short life of our son Ajani, who was born on April 20th 2007. He never breathed.
Ajani had a condition called Anencephaly, which means his skull and brain didnt develop properly. We had a choice early on in the pregnancy whether to end the pregnancy or carry on, we chose to carry on, and have never regretted that choice despite the sadness.
If you are faced with such a choice, you might wish to visit this site, where others with Anencephalic babies tell their stories, and where you will find many helpful and informative links.
Because we love him, and because of the way his life touched mine, I am reposting this poem I wrote for Ajani, who would be two today.
Oh bonny, bonny lad.
How I wish I could have known you more.
How I wish I could have held you more,
Loved you more.
Made you laugh, and dried your tears,
Seen you grow and change over the years.
But you are gone, gone from here.
How I weep, how I mourn for you my precious child.
Your skin so cold, your limbs so still.
Oh I ache with the pain. My tears flow like rivers.
My bonny little boy, you’re gone from me.
But is that it? Is that the end?
Is this pain, this dull ache, all there is now?
You have life still, though not in your body.
Not with breath, not with blood.
Life eternal, life supreme.
Somewhere beyond the bird song,
Beyond the horizon, beyond the material, beyond the natural,
Beyond pain, sickness, suffering, and beyond death.
You stand, feet apart, sword in hand.
My warrior baby. My bonny boy.
You fought. You won. You were great fun.
We miss you so.